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Photo: Me and my precious daughter, Isabella. I now realize each birthday I celebrate is truly a gift from God. Each day is a gift!)
God has been pressing upon my heart for the last few months, asking me to write about my personal testimony of how I came to know Him.
I have to admit I have been resistant. Each month, I have been putting off writing about my testimony. I think it’s because I don’t like to talk about the negative things that brought me so much pain. I am a firm believer in pressing forward and leaving the past behind.
But it is those very negative “things” that are responsible for my new life. The pain I went through, both physical, spiritual and emotional, brought me to my knees. I had to get on my knees, humble myself before God and cry out to Him to heal me in mind, body and spirit. And He did!
My story begins approximately five years ago in 2003, when my husband and I began trying for a second baby.
Our marriage was very much on the rocks and God knew a second child would not be in the cards, but I was hard-headed and persisted in trying for a second baby anyway.
We saw a fertility specialist and so the roller coaster journey began. I had lots of complications with the hormones I was injecting, but during one attempt we did get pregnant. However, I knew something was very wrong six weeks into the pregnancy when I was doubled over with a stabbing pain in my left side. I was taken to the hospital at 7p.m. and by 10p.m. they were performing an emergency laparoscopy due to the ectopic pregnancy that was suspected.
When I awoke, my suspicions were confirmed. It was indeed an ectopic pregnancy. They also had to take my left fallopian tube. If an ectopic pregnancy ruptures, the result is likely fatal and I had given permission to take my fallopian tube if necessary.
Aside from feeling physically horrendous after the procedure, I was incredibly depressed. In the days that followed the miscarriage, a non-stop, excruciating pain developed in my low and mid-back. The pain was debilitating, it never stopped. I became sleep deprived, irritable, even more depressed and the pain grew more intense.
I cried a lot. I remember standing in the shower, tears streaming down my face and I silently began to pray to God for Him to either end my life or take the pain away.
In the weeks that followed I researched and found a pain management Dr. She placed me on lexapro which she said helps greatly with chronic pain. She also placed me on kadian, which is slow release morphine. Meanwhile, this Dr. began giving me monthly epidurals which were excruciatingly painful. She eventually went deeper into the spine by treating me with neuro-foraminal injections. These were even more excruciating. But with each series of injections into my spine, I noticed my chronic pain was improving. My Dr. is a practicing Christian and very involved in her church. As I lay on her treatment table, she would speak blessings and words of encouragement over me. She told me I was going to be fine, that I was doing great, that I would be healed very soon.
I also began attending church. I sat in the back and most Sundays I just wept and wept, especially during the worship music. I filled out a prayer request card asking for prayers of healing, I went forward and prayed with elders during service and they prayed for my healing, I prayed constantly for God to heal my chronic pain.
At one point in my journey the pain was so bad, I could not sit or stand for more than 10 minutes at a time. I was only 40 years old and I felt as if I were living in a 100-year-old body. One that had betrayed me on every level.
I prayed and I prayed and I prayed. As I prayed, God opened my heart wider and wider. He showed me His everlasting and enduring love that He has for me. My heart became soft and I could feel God moving in my life. My treatments continued, the nerves in my spine began to heal more quickly.
After 12 treatments, each a month apart, I asked the Dr. to take me off of the morphine. She did so and I eased off of it with her medical expertise within 10 days. I chose to stay on the 10mg of lexapro and it is a medication that I still take daily.
Today, I am a single mom. God healed my chronic pain, but my marriage was not salvageable. However, it is this very chapter in my life – my journey with chronic pain – that brought me to the Lord. I would not have chosen this path for myself, but it is the path that I needed to take. Today I give thanks for all that has happened.
I was baptized in October 2005, along with a very dear friend of mine. I was baptized as a young child, but this time it was a personal decision for me because I chose to be baptized.
It is through my growing relationship with God that this website was born. God spoke to my heart about launching this site and nine months later, the site is growing and God just continues to amaze me. In this month of Thanksgiving, I am so grateful, sometimes my heart feels like it is just overflowing.
I am grateful for the life God has given to me. I’m grateful for the daughter I have. I’m grateful to be alive and to be healthy and pain free.
Now that I know Jesus, I know that no matter what comes against me, I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
That gives me great comfort. I want to know God even more and to live a life that honors Him and brings Him glory.
If you are reading this and struggling in your life, I want to encourage you to find a good bible-based church. I also want to encourage you to invite Jesus into your heart.
You can say this simple prayer:
Dear Lord: I ask you to come into my heart. Forgive me of my transgressions. Thank you for loving me and for dying on the cross for me. I make you Lord of my life. In Jesus’ name. Amen.
If you just prayed that prayer, congratulations friend, you have been born again. I encourage you to read your bible each day, to get stronger by being with fellow believers and by attending a bible-based church.
Thank you for reading about my testimony.
May God Bless you now and always!
